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[19 Jan 2005|05:19am] |
Kestrel comes into the room, wearily, locking the door behind her.
She'd run into Aubrey, briefly. She'd also finally met Echo, the girl who'd hugged Darien's head the day with the gun. And she'd met Mike's brother Raph, who had purple hair and the skin of his arms also dyed purple... and a prank war.
She'd spoken with David, and with Charlie, both of whom had been feeling terribly protective towards her. It had been nice, in a way, if perhaps a bit misguided.
Stripping absently, she crawls into bed between Darien and Brennan, kissing them both and then wincing for her lip.
'Love you both...'
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[19 Jan 2005|05:08am] |
[ooc: following this]
Kestrel comes in from outside.
She should be cold. But instead she's just numb. Not a numb-from-cold... just numb.
She does not stop in the bar at all, heading straight from the door from the lake to the stairwell, and upstairs, and to the room.
Once inside, she calmly walks over to the window, making sure the drapes are still open, before sitting at the table quietly.
She does not punch a hole in the wall. It would serve no purpose.
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[17 Jan 2005|04:27am] |
For once, Kestrel is the first one awake.
Possibly because she's awake in the middle of the night. Not even night, anymore. It's 4:30 in the morning, and she doesn't know why she is awake, simply that she is.
For a while, there is no thought. Eventually, her eyes open, and she is more than notsleeping; she is awake enough to know that she is awake.
Eventually, she pulls herself up to the headboard, and turns a little, watching her loves sleep, in the faint light coming in through the window.
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| And A Happier New Year's |
[01 Jan 2005|03:41am] |
[ooc: After this]
Kestrel leads the boys upstairs, still grinning, and locks the door behind them once they're in the room.
"So... there was a party downstairs already... any ideas for a party up here, then?"
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[25 Dec 2004|03:25am] |
[ooc: immediately following this]
She pulls Darien upstairs, and somehow they don't drop any of his presents. There's a huge smile on her face, and she hardly notices the tears still on her cheeks.
'Bren, love, Darien's back, and whatever you have out, put it away, we're coming inside.'
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[22 Dec 2004|02:48am] |
[ooc: after this]
After a while, Kestrel pulls herself away from the door, and conveniently misses the fact that Meg has been turned into a butterfly.
Kes slowly heads upstairs, feeling cold, and is irritated with herself when she realizes that two of the room's blankets were left downstairs by the fireplace.
She strips, and crawls into bed alone, and wonders where Brennan is, and wonders how long Darien will be gone, for him. She trusts him when he says he'll be back for Christmas.
She can't let herself do anything else.
And she's terrified that when she wakes up, she'll be back in Denver, and once again it'll all have been a dream.
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| Charlie's Christmas Present |
[22 Dec 2004|02:33am] |
There's a small box, of sorts. Looks like it's probably a CD, as there are very few other things that size and shape.
Upon removing the red and silver wrapping paper, the gift reveals itself, indeed, to be a CD.
Flogging Molly - Within A Mile Of Home
There's a note, as well.
Charlie,
I don't know if you'll have heard of this band or not, but with that whole "stuck on an island for a couple of months" things, I doubt you'll have gotten this CD yet, if you have. It came out just before I first came to the bar, by a couple of weeks, so I picked up a copy for you while I was in Denver. I hope you like it.
Love,
Kestrel
Screaming At The Wailing Wall
Seven Deadly Sins
Factory Girls
To Youth (My Sweet Roisin Dubh)
Whistles The Wind
The Light Of A Fading Star
Tobacco Island
The Wrong Company
Tomorrow Comes A Day Too Soon
Queen Anne's Revenge
The Wanderlust
Within A Mile Of Home
The Spoken Wheel
With A Wonder And A Wild Desire
Don't Let Me Die Still Wondering
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[21 Dec 2004|03:45am] |
[ooc: after this]
She leads Darien upstairs, locking the door behind them, strips his shirt off efficiently - after all, it was already unbuttoned - and gently pushes him to the bed.
"Lie down, love..."
She smiles, but her eyes are still worried.
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[19 Dec 2004|11:55pm] |
[ooc: after this and this]
It's been weeks more, now, and she's starting to give up hope.
She even went so far as to go out to dinner with Jack, the accountant, her coworker's brother. That... hadn't really gone well. At all.
She'd sat there, through dinner, making conversation with him, and all she could think about was how much she missed Darien, and Brennan, and Milliways with all its wonders. She wouldn't have thought she would miss getting up in the early hours of the morning and talking to Richard over coffee, but she even missed that.
Home again, after that somewhat disasterous dinner with Jack, she smiled to Shannon, and said nothing, and locked herself in her room and cried for a while.
She wanted her loves back.
It was nearly Christmas, here as well as at Milliways... oh, how she hoped she hadn't missed Christmas at Milliways.
Maybe... one more time, before I give up?
Kestrel bites her lip, and looks at the small bag that's been sitting next to her computer desk for the last month, when she wasn't carrying it around with her.
She makes up her mind, in that moment, and grabs another sweater, and her coat, and her bag, and leaves the apartment in the middle of the night, heading for the bar on the corner.
Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease...
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[18 Dec 2004|07:46pm] |
[ooc: after this through this]
It's been over a month, and she still hasn't been able to go back.
She hadn't tried, that first week or so. Despite having talked to Angela at Thanksgiving that was Angela, wasn't it? Please let that have been Angela she'd still been so worried about Shannon, and Felix, and the baby. But... she missed Darien, and Brennan, and after Shannon and Adrienne were home, she'd gone down to the bar on the corner, and expected to find Milliways...
... and it hadn't been there. The door led inside to a bar she knew very well, yes, but it was still the bar on the corner, and not the bar she'd been hoping for.
She'd tried very hard not to worry about it. She'd gotten most of her shopping done for Christmas; not just for her friends in Denver, but also for her friends at Milliways - for Nick, and David, and Charlie, and her Secret Santa recipient. She was still looking for a gift for Val, and wasn't quite sure if she was happy for her gifts for Darien and Bren, but she had something for them, at least.
But... she wanted to go back there. It was practically home. She found herself, every once in a while, staring at her key ring. There was still an old-fashioned key with a number and the letter K on it, attached to her key ring, and that was the only proof she had that she hadn't made everything up somehow, that worry and exhaustion about Shannon, and maybe alcohol for Halloween, hadn't led her to a strange and fantastic dream.
But there was still a silver ring on her thumb, and that old-fashioned key, and she didn't give up hope. She tried again, every few nights, but it was always just the corner bar.
It's been over a month, and she still hasn't been able to go back.
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[17 Dec 2004|01:07am] |
[ooc: post this, which is SCARY]
It is fortunate for Kestrel that she does not know what happened downstairs after she left Darien and Brennan to talk.
She packed her bags for Christmas in New Orleans with David and the others, and by sundown was ready to go. When she looked for them, she discovered that plans had changed, and they wouldn't leave until tomorrow.
She went back to her room and read for a while, but her heart wasn't really in it. After a while, she set the book aside, propped herself up in the corner on the bed, facing the door, and waited for Darien and Brennan to return.
She was still waiting, alone, when she fell asleep.
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[15 Dec 2004|01:08pm] |
[ooc: post this]
Kestrel wakes up, in her own bed, alone, with no idea how she got there.
She sits up, and then curls up in the corner, wrapped in blankets, knees up to her chin, back pressed into the wall, and she cries.
She missed him.
Gods she missed him.
And he... he said he loved her, and Bren, but he still left and stayed away for so long... and then this...
Weren't we enough for you?
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[14 Dec 2004|08:24am] |
Shortly after taking David to Richard's room to sleep, Kestrel goes to her room to sleep herself.
She locks the door behind her, and slips into bed.
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[10 Dec 2004|01:41am] |
[ooc: after this, this, this, this, and just a moment of this]
She'd gone back upstairs, and slept herself out, for hours and hours.
And now, after all that sleep and a long hot shower besides, she was still a little pale but she was starving.
... She also is resolutely not thinking about what it had felt like when Nick bit her.
She goes downstairs.
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[05 Dec 2004|01:54pm] |
[ooc: post this fade-to-black]
She woke up slowly, and discovered that she was alone.
After she'd come upstairs with Brennan last night, he'd loved her, as she'd asked; and then after, while she'd cried, a release from all the stress of the last few days, he'd held her. And he'd kissed her hair, and been all sorts of comforting, and she'd fallen asleep in his arms.
But he wasn't in the room when she woke up, and neither was Darien. Perhaps this was just as well - in the cold light of morning, while she was much calmer, she knew that if Darien learned of the events of the evening after he'd left, he would probably be even more heartbroken.
She was fairly certain that she did not want to be the one to cause him further heartache.
She sighed, and got out of bed, and stayed in the shower for a very long time.
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[05 Dec 2004|04:27am] |
[ooc: after, among other things, this]
Kes comes up to the room from downstairs, still leading Bren by the hand, and locks the door once they're inside.
"Better?"
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[03 Dec 2004|01:32pm] |
She wakes up, and she's not in her room.
She looks around, and sees Angela asleep on the other end of the... couch?
Why is she asleep on the couch?
Why am I asleep on the couch?
Kestrel slowly levers herself up, looks around, and sees David and Darien.
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[02 Dec 2004|11:40pm] |
[ooc: post this]
As soon as the door back into the bar closed behind her, she broke into a run, not stopping until she was nearly a third of the way around the lake. She dropped to her knees by the water, shuddering.
What the hell is wrong with me? He was perfectly nice, wasn't he?
No. He wasn't. And he's going to hurt them, and you know it.
He didn't say anything, really!
Yes, he did. He claimed the woman who raped Bren as his, and doesn't like Lochiel's Cheysuli side.
And dammit, I'm having an argument with myself and losing...
She stayed out by the lake for hours.
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[30 Nov 2004|11:38pm] |
[post this]
She'd been digging through her closet for the last hour, it felt like. Zot was nowhere to be found, which worried her - a lot - but there wasn't really anything she could do about it right now.
Let's see now... a shirt for Val, a Wolvie for Angelo, my wallet, and my presents for Dar and Bren... wish I could have thought of something for David, though.
She looked in on Adrienne. A baby girl, named after her. It felt... absurd, that she'd missed the last month, that she hadn't been around to help... she wasn't sure about the job at the toy store anymore, either. Maybe they'd still want help, since it was the post-Thanksgiving madhouse... but she couldn't stand the thought of it.
The job in Boston started in just over a month. She still wanted it... but at the same time, she was happy for the first time in a long while. Not just content, but happy. She supposed she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.
And maybe, time will... no, look, it's not worth hoping for it. It'll do what it'll do.
With one last look around, Kestrel stepped outside, and walked down the street to the corner bar, her fingers crossed.
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[30 Nov 2004|12:52pm] |
"...five, three four, three eight. Would you like to be connected?"
"Oh! Um, no thanks, I... don't have time right now, I'll just call later. Thanks again!"
Click.
Ten minutes later, she's still sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed, staring at the phone in her hand.
She hadn't thought that a simple call to information would actually give her a number.
And she didn't know if she was brave enough to call.
Sure, "Darien Fawkes" was a rare enough name that it had been easy enough to look up - there was only one in all of San Diego, even - but she didn't know. She couldn't be sure without calling him...
And that was the problem. She couldn't call him unless she was sure. And... it was two years in his future, to her.
She slumps forward and rests her forehead on her knees, phone falling next to her forgotten.
"Mrr?"
"Zot? What are you doing here, kitty? I thought you were watching Adrienne and making Shannon laugh..."
"Mrr!"
"Zot, wait, get away from there, you'll shut yourself in the closet if you keep that up."
"..."
"...Zot?"
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